Disordered Eating

EDNOS: Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. Can be defined as bulimic behavior without the frequency or duration of binge/purge episodes required for diagnosis, anorexic behavior in individuals at a normal weight or who have regular periods, or the dreaded binge eating disorder or compulsive overeating. What am I? All of the above. Except, I've finally kicked binge eating in favor of Ana and Mia, my current best buds. This blog is my ode to them.. my suffering, my obsession, my unwillingness to change, my progress.

I don't do all the same things as other anas and mias do.. I follow my own specific plan to a tee, and I'm posting it now to hold myself accountable.

This is the plan. You will stick to it, or you are weak. There will be no more purging everyday. There will be no more binging everyday. It's not acceptable. So this is the plan, and you will do it.

You will exercise in the morning before you eat. You will take your supplements.

You will fast all morning. You will feel the fat melting away with your hunger. You will love that feeling of hunger.

Break the fast at 12: peanut butter. Prepare it with fiber and chia and bring it to work with you if you'll be at work or out past noon.
Lunch as soon as you get home: protein smoothie. Add any carbs you want to add on maintenance days, but no extra carbs after this meal. This can be done at the same time as your peanut butter.. 2 meals a day is acceptable with intermittent fasting.
Walk the dogs after lunch.
Take your supplements on an empty stomach, two hours before or after your lunch, depending on when you eat it. Make absolutely sure you take your nap on an empty stomach.
Take your meds before the meeting.
Dinner at 5: salad/veggies, tuna/chicken/salmon, eggs. Oh, the options (:

Then, you fast for 18 hours. Repeat.
It's ok if you fast for longer, MiAna queen. It's ok to fast for a full 24. But that's it. That's as long as you can go.

NEVER EAT AFTER THE MEETING.
NEVER EAT IN YOUR ROOM.
These are not negotiable!

Workout in the gym when you can. You can only do pre workout when going to the gym. Dance like an idiot in your room at night and try to sweat a lot.

You cannot eat anything outside of this meal plan on deficit days, because you will purge and you know it. You will most likely binge which means you'll purge. Whatever it is, it can wait until maintenance day.

Sundays, B/P if you feel the need. You'll probably feel the need. Overcooked pasta and ice cream. Nothing else. Only Sundays. Sundays only. That's it. Count half the calories of what you purge.

Follow maintenance days based on Venus schedule.. menu is to be planned ahead of time or you risk binging. You know this.

Rinse and repeat every week (:

This is what I do, and this is what works for me. That's my plan.

This is my story.

I'm a former compulsive over eater.. considered morbidly obese.
I was at my highest weight when I relapsed (I'm a drug addict), and found methamphetamine during the relapse.
I switched disorders without really trying, because meth worked for me, and then took everything from me. I had a taste of losing the weight quick, and I didn't wanna gain it back. So I decided I was done being fat. I refused to go back.

In the process, I became addicted to purging, because I still couldn't stop binging. I don't want to purge everyday, but I refuse to go back to where I was.
My goals are not extreme, but I will do whatever it takes to get to them, and to never ever go back to where I was. And if I'm not happy when I get there, I will adjust.
Note: I have a lot of muscle weight as well.

Ht. 5'8"
HW 300
CW 242
GW1 180
GW2 160
UGW 140

This is the beginning.